Re: The Heart of the Labyrinth, Screams and Hope IC Thread 19

[Adley]

Suddenly the thing you saw beside Matty...the abomination that was Matty Carlyle's Avatar turned sharply in your direction "I...was like...that once...I...was more than...this..." There was so much pain in that voice, so much despair and that pain did not come from the cuts and wounds you saw over the dark thing, the result of the attempted Gilgul, the abomination raised it's head and looked at you. "I used to be a part of creation...I used to be glorious..."

"Yes, that is so," he said in Enochian, as it noticed them, watching the distraught, damaged but once-beautiful avatar. "You have been changed in many painful ways. A different ephemera, a spirit, became a part of you and this does not benefit the path you were once upon. You were once whole, part of all and then made not; that may be hard to remember in this now as you lost your way. But there was a part of you that still did remember and that knew something was not as it should be. This splendor is a reminder and guide to your hidden fire, that which should forever burn. This is part of what has been forgotten, the knowledge of how it should be for us clothed in vessels of flesh, how and why we become enrobed in matter and time. It is the letters by which we spell the letters of our name in each now, part of a greater name that continues to be spoken, as part of all creation that is manifest."

// works for me, re how it's done. So, 4 HL lethal, Wounded?

[Anja Rebekka Schultze]

The broken Avatar looked at you as you spoke he seamed hurt and confused.
"Once I...was perfect, and became incarnate to learn...to guide...and now I kill..."
It said in Enochian, the creature reached out to touch the pine cone, the long shadowy claws that could rip flesh to shreds gently gliding over it as it sat in your hand.
"I hurt...I am confused I do not remember..."
The abomination said as it turned to look as Matty demanded he go on a killing rampage.
"I have to protect her, that is all I am now I have to protect her but I am so broken, I just want this pain to end...I am not as I should be..."
It wept as the pine cone made it remember what it once was.
"I...can not guide her...I no longer know how...what have I become?"
The Avatar spoke, its words grating and sore and it was clearly confused as to what to do, it wanted to protect it's host but at the same time with these memories flooding it, perhaps there was a small emory about what it had once been, the glory it had once been.
"What happened to me...to us was not right..."
It whispered.
"It is not what was supposed to be...I am lost...and I do not remember..."

(OOC: Yes I think that is lethal damage and 4 is wounded. Giving up one's own life force costs. Poor Adley. )

[Adley]

"Once I...was perfect, and became incarnate to learn...to guide...and now I kill..." It said in Enochian, the creature reached out to touch the pine cone, the long shadowy claws that could rip flesh to shreds gently gliding over it as it sat in your hand. "I hurt...I am confused I do not remember..."

"You do not have to kill. If you remember that much, you can decide to not do that," he said, the pain of what he'd done to awaken the pine cone to the avatar was almost secondary to the proximity of this avatar to them, of how it was enraptured by it.

"I have to protect her, that is all I am now I have to protect her but I am so broken, I just want this pain to end...I am not as I should be..."

"What she demands of you and has done to you, out of her own pain and loss, will not protect her. It will only cause more pain for you both," he said sadly.

"I...can not guide her...I no longer know how...what have I become?"
The Avatar spoke, its words grating and sore and it was clearly confused as to what to do, it wanted to protect it's host but at the same time with these memories flooding it, perhaps there was a small emory about what it had once been, the glory it had once been. "What happened to me...to us was not right..." It whispered. "It is not what was supposed to be...I am lost...and I do not remember..."

"When we met last, there was a part of you that remembered in this now. In this now, was there was a Name for the spirit that bound itself within you? Do you remember that?" he asked, trying to coax out the memories that it had left.

// I figured it was L, just checking so I knew the diff modifier for later since that won't be healable by magick. No such thing as a free lunch!

[Warpmind]

Horizon, future:

Anna nodded but she looked doubtful.
"Paradox have never shown much compassion to me, I hate it, but I guess it is a cost of being what we are and if it is the price I have to pay to have magick I will pay it, I am worried about you though Mentor."
She said and gave you a concerned look.

He nodded, "I don't look forward to the day the Reckoner decides to hang me out to dry - but I think, in the end, it will have been worth it. For you, for Beatrice, for Liv, for Kyle, for Patrick... for everyone."

"I guess you are right...he is leaving sand...everywhere it is embarrassing...I mean when I take the bus, what if someone learned that the few specks of sand in my seat was from me."
The girl said and shook her head, she was a teenager now and quite concerned about what others might think of her, especially since so many where negative to her on sight if they knew what she where.
"I am glad...I mean John William's meditations are hard work but my Glass Dragon seam...livelier these days, he is not so lazy anymore though he still prefer to just just up in my soul and watch."

He nodded, "I wouldn't worry too much about people figuring out about the sand, if I were you - just be subtle about sweeping it to the floor. And do keep an eye open in case someone reacts negatively to it."

Helen nodded at that.
"She is a remarkable child Colin, and you are doing well with her."
She said as she continued to ready the equipment.

He smiled, "I have an apprentice who's been excellent help in that regard."

"He has a double first name Mentor, John William, he have never told me his last name...perhaps he is worried I would use it against him."
Anna explained then she sigh and looked down.
"I guess I can understand that...if I ended up in a really bad Quiet and the only choice to prevent me from harming someone was something really bad...I guess it would be better to be stopped from doing harm...to anyone even if it was with something...bad...he still got allot of guts though, and he was all calm like...though I guess he would not want to let anyone see him weak...I can not manage that, not showing fear you know."
The girl said then she sigh.
"And now I am babbling again...sorry."
She said nervously and picked at her shoes.

He nodded, "Ah, of course... It's a reasonable concern that someone might use his full name as a weapon, though I suppose he's less worried about you in particular. Heavens know you have enough on your plate without causing trouble for one of your friends, as well."
He frowned, "And to be honest, if I were to go into a really bad Quiet, I would want to be subdued myself, to prevent me from... well, God knows what I might do, really. I would want someone I trust to try to pull me out, if possible..."

Anna scratched her scars under her green blouse for a moment.
"I guess...but what if the clerk think I am childish."
For a teenager being seen as childish was something that seamed like quite a catastrophe.

He grinned, "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of being considered childish. Not to worry; at the worst, I can drop by a crafts shop and pick it up for you."

Anna smiled at that.
"Well someone have to watch over you Mentor."
She said fondly.

He grinned wryly, "I think I'm already doing a rather good job of that from the future, actually..."

"I guess you are right Mentor, saving lives is worth risking Paradox over...but I still do not want to see you hurt, even if it is worth it...I have already lost one Mentor I do not want to go through that again."
She muttered softly and looked down sadly.
"Just promise you will be careful please..."
She said and looked up.

He frowned and nodded, "As careful as I can afford."

"I am willing to be alloyed with other strong metals, but I do not want to be weak, my function is to penetrate flesh and pleasantly as possible, that is what I am and I do not want to loose what I am, gemstones though is fine, I am partial to red stones and hematite."
The spirit said as he jumped about happily on the tip of the needle.

He nodded, "No alloy, then - but perhaps some silver adornment to hold a ruby? I believe we have an accord, at least - and we can discuss the details as I work, hmm?"

Your apprentice was hyper ventilating ans whimpering but at least she sat still she managed to weakly mutter the words of the litany while she squeezed your hand as hard as she possibly could. Helen gently examined her arms while explaining what she was doing, when she put on the tourniquet though Anna nearly panicled.
"No...no...no...no..."
She whimpered and Helen stopped.
"Do you want me to stop child? For if you do I will stop it is up to you."
She asked gently and Anna was quiet for a moment then she drew a deep breath.
"No...I...ok...do it...I...fuck!"
Helen nodded and continued.
"Shh you are doing well, I have found a vein...and I will be bringing it to the surface, just be calm..."
She said as she brought a strange device from her tray, it looked a little like a tricorder only that it had a small chamber where you put a bit of coal and the heat from that ran it, the machine let off little puffs of smoke as Helen held it over Anna's arm for a few moment before she turned of the engine and put it on a metal tray to cool down.
"I am going to place the needle now, try to stay calm."
She said softly and Anna started screaming, she was near panic but at least she was sitting still. Helen worked fast with practiced hands and brought the needle into the vein, placed the tubing and retracted it with a few swift motions. Anna was howling the whole time but you do not think she felt much, not from how your fingers had felt after you had spread that ointment on your son's bottom to cure his rash, they had been pretty damn numb for a good while, no it was fear that made your apprentice scream, pain had probably been kinder than this terror though.
"Don't hurt her anymore...please stop...don't kill her!"
Anna screamed and you could smell the sharp tang of urine shed in mind numbing fear. It was neither you nor Helen your apprentice spoke to though, but rather her words where directed at her own inner demons.

Helen quickly got the caterer taped down and preceded to draw the blood she needed, Anna whimpered desperately, that she probably did feel she was sensitive and some found the pressure difference in their vein as glass for blood collecting was changed to be very uncomfortable, it was soon over though and Helen quickly covered the tray and stepped away in case her presence would scare the young mage further.
"Once she have calmed down a little we can take her to get the scan taken, I will give her the contrast medium once she is in position in the CT, see if you can calm her, her heart do not do well with such strain."
The healer said sounding concerned. Anna still sat stiff and tense, she was not screaming anymore but she was sobbing uncontrollably.
"I am going to throw up..."
She managed.
"I can feel it there...in my arm...I can feel it..."
She screamed.
"I want to go home!"

He smiled warmly at Anna, hand still covering her eyes, "I'm so proud of you, sweetie - you're halfway there. Yes, the needle is in your arm - it's not moving, not breaking, it's whole, and it won't harm you... Please, sweetie, I won't stop you if you really need to leave, but if you can try to breathe more slowly, we can get you to the scanner, and doctor Mossly will inject the contrast fluid, so we can see if there's a clump of metal hiding. If you can do this, I think she can remove the needle while you're still in the scanner, so you won't have to see it... and later, I will make something for you - a new nose ring, with a little ruby inset; doesn't that sound lovely? I'll work on those spiritual fireworks for you, help create a new rote for you and you alone, too..."

Chicago, now:

You moved to get around Matty just as the woman rounded the corner and came into the hub, she looked like death warmed over, her eyes where glossy with pain, she could barely stand, ah yes the Spirit Masters had gotten her good there was no doubt about that, it however did not mean her Avatar was not dangerous. Matty lifted a arm, she held a gun in it and as she noticed you she fired at you, but she was in no shape to aim and the bullet was way of, then again that did not mean the next one might not be placed better.
"Traditionalist asshole!"
The young woman hissed at you as she tried to aim better for the next shot her eyes narrowing in concentration.

He frowned and whipped the gun up, aiming to disarm or at least wing Matty, "Bugger... I get that a lot recently..."

((OOC: So, Dex+Firearms for a shot, diff 8 for trying to hit her gun hand: 3,4,9. Good, that's 4 dice of damage, 2,3,6,6 - that gun ain't workin' no more. )

((OOC2: Wait, what was it that according to the metaplot almost happened? Autonomoton? You lost me there.))

[Adley]

// Iteration X worshiped their Computer in a nigh-holy way, only ofc they didn't believe in god per se, but when it became sentient after its tenth iteration of its self improvement progrmaming, they renamed themselves from Mechanics to Iteration-x. But, they were wrong, it was never an aware AI (or at least not just) there was a spirit possessing the Computer that resided on Autochthonia. 'Computer' forbade Itx to study Dim-Sci so it kept that secret for a long while and duped the convention and conditioned some to become Autopolitans on Autochtonia - in other words, part of Threat null.

[Anja Rebekka Schultze]

Chicago Now:

"You do not have to kill. If you remember that much, you can decide to not do that," he said, the pain of what he'd done to awaken the pine cone to the avatar was almost secondary to the proximity of this avatar to them, of how it was enraptured by it.

"I am destruction...I was made to destroy. I am no longer a guide. The part of me that once broke of from the core of creation no longer seek perfection and understanding and the part of me that is spirit have no purpose...I am nothing...I have been made nothing and she wants me to kill, to always kill and destroy and mangle...I do not know how to be anything else I do not remember..."
The abomination whispered, it still did not move though it just looked at the pine cone, stroking it gently, it was awfully close though you though if it choose to attack there was doubtful that you would make it.

"What she demands of you and has done to you, out of her own pain and loss, will not protect her. It will only cause more pain for you both," he said sadly.

"I do not know what else to do for her...they killed her teacher's soul and she live in that moment...her body is grown now but she still live in that now, seeing what was done to her teacher, hearing him scream, watching him destroyed...I can protect her from ever having to experience that...I want to die crowned one...I want nothing but and end to this pain, but I can not die...if I die she suffers...so I can do nothing but...kill I...I...do not want to kill I want to guide...want to teach...but I can not...I have no purpose, I am not as I should be."

"When we met last, there was a part of you that remembered in this now. In this now, was there was a Name for the spirit that bound itself within you? Do you remember that?" he asked, trying to coax out the memories that it had left.

"I remember...deep in you are the Fire Angle, the Red Lady...I have seen her before she is...perfect...I was perfect once...I do not want to harm the host of the Fire Angle she is not done with you...she is you but...I must protect my host she is the only thing I have...I do not want to be on this plane I do not understand."
The abomination wept.
"Yes I...remember a name...a name of pain an torment...I remember."

He frowned and whipped the gun up, aiming to disarm or at least wing Matty, "Bugger... I get that a lot recently..."

You hit Matty's gun and the force of the bullet ripped it out of her hand, you heard several bones crack and one of them now jutted out of the Nephanda's bleeding hand. Matty howled in pain but then she seamed far more concerned about something else than her hand and she looked over at Adley with just dread on her face and started screaming for her Avatar to start killing everyone, and yet no one died, not yet and Matty's panic grew.

(OOC: I am posting this that happens now and then start working on the Horizon post.)

[Anja Rebekka Schultze]

Horizon Future:

He nodded, "I don't look forward to the day the Reckoner decides to hang me out to dry - but I think, in the end, it will have been worth it. For you, for Beatrice, for Liv, for Kyle, for Patrick... for everyone."

"It scares me Mentor. I am worried that you will get really hurt or sick or that something bad will happen to you even if you think it have been worth it."
Anna said softly and gave you a concerned look.

He nodded, "I wouldn't worry too much about people figuring out about the sand, if I were you - just be subtle about sweeping it to the floor. And do keep an eye open in case someone reacts negatively to it."

"I guess I can do that, it is still embarrassing though."
Anna said and sigh.

He smiled, "I have an apprentice who's been excellent help in that regard."

"She is a sweet child, it is hard to believe she is actually Fallen."
Helen said and glanced at Anna.

He nodded, "Ah, of course... It's a reasonable concern that someone might use his full name as a weapon, though I suppose he's less worried about you in particular. Heavens know you have enough on your plate without causing trouble for one of your friends, as well."

"I would never hurt him or Alexandra or any of them, they are my friends, but I understand his caution and I suspect it is not me he is worried about but perhaps me telling his name to other mages."
The young mage said and nodded.
"He is married to a mage after all he knows how we work, well at least somewhat. He is really confused that Mrs Knox is Awakening an apprentice, he do not understand that it takes a long time to lead a sleeper to Awakening he seam to think we can make more mages just like they can make more of their own kind...now would not that be practical."

He frowned, "And to be honest, if I were to go into a really bad Quiet, I would want to be subdued myself, to prevent me from... well, God knows what I might do, really. I would want someone I trust to try to pull me out, if possible..."

"Yeah...I am afraid of that at times, going into a Quiet...going Marauder I know I get more Paradox than other mages I...would take anything over just being allowed to go on a rampage and yes if possible I would want someone to try to pull me out of it."
Anna said softly and shivered.
"Quiets are scary."

He grinned, "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of being considered childish. Not to worry; at the worst, I can drop by a crafts shop and pick it up for you."

Your apprentice scowled at you for a moment but then she smiled.
"Well I for one do not want to appear childish...thank you though I appreciate that, I think I might dare to do a kit like that if I wear gloves..."

He grinned wryly, "I think I'm already doing a rather good job of that from the future, actually..."

"Well you are also really good at getting yourself into trouble."
Anna said sternly.
"I am sure Freddy would have some words for future you as well."

He frowned and nodded, "As careful as I can afford."

Anna frowned and nodded but she did not say anything, she was concerned about you though and how much Paradox you would be hit with in the future.

He nodded, "No alloy, then - but perhaps some silver adornment to hold a ruby? I believe we have an accord, at least - and we can discuss the details as I work, hmm?"

"We have an accord, silver to fasten decorations are agreeable and I like rubies they are hard and shiny, one of my best friends are a ruby. We can discuss the details as you work...that is agreeable."
The Umbrood said happily as he looked up at you and smiled with his tiny mouth.

He smiled warmly at Anna, hand still covering her eyes, "I'm so proud of you, sweetie - you're halfway there. Yes, the needle is in your arm - it's not moving, not breaking, it's whole, and it won't harm you...

Anna sobbed hysterically.
"But I feel it there I do not like it...it hurts..."
She cried, you doubt she actually felt pain though, a little soreness perhaps but not more but she was afraid and thought she would feel pain.
"What if it moves I do not like this...I can see the ones my first Mentor...I can see them..."
Your apprentice sobbed and she held onto your hand with all her might terrified.
"It is not a needle...the metal part is out Anna...it is just a soft, plastic tube there now...depending on how you define a needle off course but the metal part is gone..."
Helen said softly and Anna's sobbing grew a little softer for a moment.
"A...tube?"
She asked hesitant, confused.
"I can feel...it...there...I...but when...they did this to me before..."
Helen sigh.
"It was probably a tube then as well, many health care providers are not good enough at remembering to say that...especially to scared patients...that the needle are taken out leaving only a bit of plastic, and artificial vein..."
Anna seamed rather doubtful about this.
"M...mentor?"
She muttered as if asking you if this was right, she seamed confused...well confusion was better than outright panic though she was still very scared.

Please, sweetie, I won't stop you if you really need to leave, but if you can try to breathe more slowly, we can get you to the scanner, and doctor Mossly will inject the contrast fluid, so we can see if there's a clump of metal hiding. If you can do this, I think she can remove the needle while you're still in the scanner, so you won't have to see it...

The young mage was still crying, sobs made her whole body shake but she was able to take a few deep breaths.
"I...can try..."
She finally managed to say.
"But I do not like this...I do not like this...and I do not want to see the needle I do not want to see it!"
She cried. Helen nodded.
"I can remove the catheter as soon as the contrast fluid is in, if you are able to carry her Mr Wainwright, radiology is not far down the corridor."
The healer said and you saw pain in her blue eyes she did not like hurting the younger mage like this.
"Let us move quickly so she do not have to be this scared for very long I have already made our staff aware and the scanner is ready."
She said.

and later, I will make something for you - a new nose ring, with a little ruby inset; doesn't that sound lovely?

Anna nodded weakly and muttered between sobs.
"That...do sound...pretty..."

I'll work on those spiritual fireworks for you, help create a new rote for you and you alone, too..."

"A rote...just for me...I...like that...I...I can try to hold out a little longer but I do not like this, I am scared...and it hurts and there are memories...bad memories..."
Anna whispered as she clung to you desperately with her free hand, the one with the IV in she did not dare move, at all, not her arm, not her hand...
"And then we can go home afterwards? I do not want to be here Mentor...I do not want to..."
She begged.

[Warpmind]

Horizon, future:

"It scares me Mentor. I am worried that you will get really hurt or sick or that something bad will happen to you even if you think it have been worth it."
Anna said softly and gave you a concerned look.

Colin sighed, "It scares me, too, a little... I make an effort not to let that fear hinder me."

"She is a sweet child, it is hard to believe she is actually Fallen."
Helen said and glanced at Anna.

He smiled, "She's getting back up. Slowly but surely, she's climbing back to the light."

"I would never hurt him or Alexandra or any of them, they are my friends, but I understand his caution and I suspect it is not me he is worried about but perhaps me telling his name to other mages."
The young mage said and nodded.
"He is married to a mage after all he knows how we work, well at least somewhat. He is really confused that Mrs Knox is Awakening an apprentice, he do not understand that it takes a long time to lead a sleeper to Awakening he seam to think we can make more mages just like they can make more of their own kind...now would not that be practical."

He nodded, "We need a bit more time and work to Awaken a new Mage, if they don't do it on their own... The vampiric way of procreation is... quicker, perhaps, but something gets lost on the way."

"Yeah...I am afraid of that at times, going into a Quiet...going Marauder I know I get more Paradox than other mages I...would take anything over just being allowed to go on a rampage and yes if possible I would want someone to try to pull me out of it."
Anna said softly and shivered.
"Quiets are scary."

He nodded, "You are a rarity among Mages, you know... if you feel it coming, you have the option of closing the collar. That won't shelter your mind, but it can at least reduce the chance of you doing something more regrettable..."

Your apprentice scowled at you for a moment but then she smiled.
"Well I for one do not want to appear childish...thank you though I appreciate that, I think I might dare to do a kit like that if I wear gloves..."

He nodded, "Of course, you are delicate enough with your magic - I wonder if you could manage to work with thread without a physical needle whatsoever?"

"Well you are also really good at getting yourself into trouble."
Anna said sternly.
"I am sure Freddy would have some words for future you as well."

He grinned, "And just as good at getting out of it, hmm? Especially if there are others I need to get out of trouble with me."

Anna sobbed hysterically.
"But I feel it there I do not like it...it hurts..."
She cried, you doubt she actually felt pain though, a little soreness perhaps but not more but she was afraid and thought she would feel pain.
"What if it moves I do not like this...I can see the ones my first Mentor...I can see them..."
Your apprentice sobbed and she held onto your hand with all her might terrified.
"It is not a needle...the metal part is out Anna...it is just a soft, plastic tube there now...depending on how you define a needle off course but the metal part is gone..."
Helen said softly and Anna's sobbing grew a little softer for a moment.
"A...tube?"
She asked hesitant, confused.
"I can feel...it...there...I...but when...they did this to me before..."
Helen sigh.
"It was probably a tube then as well, many health care providers are not good enough at remembering to say that...especially to scared patients...that the needle are taken out leaving only a bit of plastic, and artificial vein..."
Anna seamed rather doubtful about this.
"M...mentor?"
She muttered as if asking you if this was right, she seamed confused...well confusion was better than outright panic though she was still very scared.

He arched an eyebrow, "Doctor, would you kindly show me the needle, just so I can confirm it is intact and out of the arm? I must've missed you pulling it out, somehow, but I would have noticed if it broke."

The young mage was still crying, sobs made her whole body shake but she was able to take a few deep breaths.
"I...can try..."
She finally managed to say.
"But I do not like this...I do not like this...and I do not want to see the needle I do not want to see it!"
She cried. Helen nodded.
"I can remove the catheter as soon as the contrast fluid is in, if you are able to carry her Mr Wainwright, radiology is not far down the corridor."
The healer said and you saw pain in her blue eyes she did not like hurting the younger mage like this.
"Let us move quickly so she do not have to be this scared for very long I have already made our staff aware and the scanner is ready."
She said.

He nodded, "Sweetie, the needle is going to be melted down, made harmless; you won't have to look at it."
He nodded to Helen, "Very good, I'll bring her; you run intercept on the way - make sure there's nothing to hinder us."
He gently picked Anna up in his arms, "Come along, sweetie, keep your eyes closed, no harm will reach you while I carry you... just hold your arm straight, and don't twist it around..."

Anna nodded weakly and muttered between sobs.
"That...do sound...pretty..."

He nodded, "It will be... and it will have a friendly little spirit with it, for company."

"A rote...just for me...I...like that...I...I can try to hold out a little longer but I do not like this, I am scared...and it hurts and there are memories...bad memories..."
Anna whispered as she clung to you desperately with her free hand, the one with the IV in she did not dare move, at all, not her arm, not her hand...
"And then we can go home afterwards? I do not want to be here Mentor...I do not want to..."
She begged.

He nodded, "Afterwards, we can go home. Unless you would rather stop for ice cream on the way, or something else. Anything else you want. My treat."

Chicago, now:

You hit Matty's gun and the force of the bullet ripped it out of her hand, you heard several bones crack and one of them now jutted out of the Nephanda's bleeding hand. Matty howled in pain but then she seamed far more concerned about something else than her hand and she looked over at Adley with just dread on her face and started screaming for her Avatar to start killing everyone, and yet no one died, not yet and Matty's panic grew.

He frowned, lowering the gun a little, then sighed sadly, "Miss Carlyle, I am so sorry. You should never have been made to watch what was done to your Mentor... and now, you have come to the end. Your Avatar is no longer as it should be; broken and mangled and put together all wrong, with another spirit cut apart and mixed in... it must stop, here and now; end the suffering. Because the alternative... is worse. Much, much worse. And I don't want to do that... but if I must, I will."

((OOC: Ah, no, that does not sound at all like The Nine Billion Names of God. http://downlode.org/Etext/nine_billion_names_of_god.html is a decent copy of it. You might enjoy it - Adley might find it a little unnerving. ))

[Anja Rebekka Schultze]

Horizon Future:

Colin sighed, "It scares me, too, a little... I make an effort not to let that fear hinder me."

Anna nodded at that, she said nothing but she did not like to consider what might happen if you got hit with to much Paradox and she looked quite concerned.

He smiled, "She's getting back up. Slowly but surely, she's climbing back to the light."

"I never would have believed it to be possible Colin...but it could appear that she is indeed."
Helen said she sounded quite impressed.
"Let us hope the progress continues."

He nodded, "We need a bit more time and work to Awaken a new Mage, if they don't do it on their own... The vampiric way of procreation is... quicker, perhaps, but something gets lost on the way."

"Yeah I would not want to be a vampire, I considered it before my trial...if it went wrong you know. I mean Alexandra is my friend, but no...I would not want that, so our slower way is better."
Anna said and nodded.

He nodded, "You are a rarity among Mages, you know... if you feel it coming, you have the option of closing the collar. That won't shelter your mind, but it can at least reduce the chance of you doing something more regrettable..."

Anna nodded her and went to the silver collar she wore.
"Yeah and you can use it to block my magick, it is a safety mechanism I guess...though it was a bit embarrassing to wear in the beginning. I am used to it now though."

He nodded, "Of course, you are delicate enough with your magic - I wonder if you could manage to work with thread without a physical needle whatsoever?"

"Master Morgan probably could do that, but for me I am delicate with my well to use the ranking terms Prime magick I am not that goof with Forces I can really just feel heat and such, Kyle is allot better than me with that."

He grinned, "And just as good at getting out of it, hmm? Especially if there are others I need to get out of trouble with me."

"Yeah I guess...I am still worried about you at times though Mentor..."

He arched an eyebrow, "Doctor, would you kindly show me the needle, just so I can confirm it is intact and out of the arm? I must've missed you pulling it out, somehow, but I would have noticed if it broke."

Helen nodded and showed you the needle, the little Umbrood still sitting at the tip.
"Off course, I am sorry but I thought moving quickly to be best, basically as soon as the needle is in and one get a flash of blood one can move the tube into place, remove the needle itself and tape it down."
She said.
"The needle itself is perfectly unbroken."

He nodded, "Sweetie, the needle is going to be melted down, made harmless; you won't have to look at it."

"Good..."
Anna muttered she sobbed a little less now but she was still very upset and very afraid.

He nodded to Helen, "Very good, I'll bring her; you run intercept on the way - make sure there's nothing to hinder us."
He gently picked Anna up in his arms, "Come along, sweetie, keep your eyes closed, no harm will reach you while I carry you... just hold your arm straight, and don't twist it around..."

The healer nodded and headed out the door.
"You remember where radiology is right? You have been here with your wife a few times."
She asked as she was heading out to make sure none would get in your way, particularly the young students Anna did not have fond memories about.

Your apprentice nodded she kept her arm very still, she did not dare to move it at all, her whole body shook as you lifted her, well at least she was not screaming though she kept crying and you got the feeling the slightest disturbance could drive her into a panic again at this point.

He nodded, "It will be... and it will have a friendly little spirit with it, for company."

"I like spirits."
Anna muttered she kept her eyes tightly shut covering them with her other hand protectively as you carried her.

He nodded, "Afterwards, we can go home. Unless you would rather stop for ice cream on the way, or something else. Anything else you want. My treat."

"I...I don't know if I can eat..."
Anna muttered she usually lost her appetite when upset it was a bit of a problem actually and had been a real issue while she was on the serum.
"I can try some ice cream but I do not want to talk with anyone..."
She said and shook her head slightly.

You got to the radiology room, well one of them, there was one for regular ex rays, one that had a CT and one that had some sort of machine that one of the Etherites had cooked up which ran on coal and steam. You had been with Freddy a few times after she had her infrequent seizures and needed to be checked out. Helen and a pale faced young tech had already made the machine ready.
"If you place her here Mr Wainwright."
Helen said.
"She is not afraid of the scanner is she?"
Anna shook her head at that.
"No...it is fine...I have been scanned before, my belly where I was shot...but I could drink the contrast for that."
She muttered, she still seamed rather scared though and probably felt very helpless at the moment and she still kept her eyes tightly shut.

Chicago Now:

He frowned, lowering the gun a little, then sighed sadly, "Miss Carlyle, I am so sorry. You should never have been made to watch what was done to your Mentor... and now, you have come to the end. Your Avatar is no longer as it should be; broken and mangled and put together all wrong, with another spirit cut apart and mixed in... it must stop, here and now; end the suffering. Because the alternative... is worse. Much, much worse. And I don't want to do that... but if I must, I will."

The Nephanda looked at your fearfully and defiant.
"My soul will not let you harm me, not seriously."
She said.
"I will never let you do to me what was done to my Mentor...my Avatar is safe I made the deal to make it safe so it never can be taken from me...never!"
Matty seamed to have forgotten her broken fingers, compared to the pain she was in from the attempted Gigul the injury was just a small distraction and she slowly backed away from you.

Adley you see the broken Avatar's attention turn to Matty and Colin when he shot at her and she cried out and now the Nephanda clearly felt threatened by your friend and the abomination was struggling to break free of it's own memories to go and help it's host it did not want Matty hurt, it desperately wanted to protect it's current physical incarnation and might harm Colin quite badly if it thought he was a danger to Matty and it managed to break the stunning, devastating effect of the pine cone.

[Warpmind]

Horizon, future:

"I never would have believed it to be possible Colin...but it could appear that she is indeed."
Helen said she sounded quite impressed.
"Let us hope the progress continues."

Colin grinned wryly, "Stranger things have happened. Trust me..."

Anna nodded her and went to the silver collar she wore.
"Yeah and you can use it to block my magick, it is a safety mechanism I guess...though it was a bit embarrassing to wear in the beginning. I am used to it now though."

He nodded sagely, "And I guess it doesn't hurt that it is decorated like a piece of jewelry rather than something functional like a dog collar, hmm?"

"Master Morgan probably could do that, but for me I am delicate with my well to use the ranking terms Prime magick I am not that goof with Forces I can really just feel heat and such, Kyle is allot better than me with that."

He smiled, "Give it time, grasshopper - I meant your finesse over raw power in general. Given a little time and practice, I'm sure you could reweave his jacket while he was wearing it, without missing a stitch."

"Yeah I guess...I am still worried about you at times though Mentor..."

He sighed, "You and half the Awakened world, it seems sometimes..."

Helen nodded and showed you the needle, the little Umbrood still sitting at the tip.
"Off course, I am sorry but I thought moving quickly to be best, basically as soon as the needle is in and one get a flash of blood one can move the tube into place, remove the needle itself and tape it down."
She said.
"The needle itself is perfectly unbroken."

He nodded, "Cap it and pack it up for me, would you? I've got a bargain to uphold."

The healer nodded and headed out the door.
"You remember where radiology is right? You have been here with your wife a few times."
She asked as she was heading out to make sure none would get in your way, particularly the young students Anna did not have fond memories about.

Your apprentice nodded she kept her arm very still, she did not dare to move it at all, her whole body shook as you lifted her, well at least she was not screaming though she kept crying and you got the feeling the slightest disturbance could drive her into a panic again at this point.

He nodded, "I remember the way well enough."
He grunted slightly as he started moving after Helen, "Oh, sweetie, you've grown since last time we were here... That's a good thing, though."

"I like spirits."
Anna muttered she kept her eyes tightly shut covering them with her other hand protectively as you carried her.

He smiled, "Yes, they're mostly good people, the ones who interact with us."

"I...I don't know if I can eat..."
Anna muttered she usually lost her appetite when upset it was a bit of a problem actually and had been a real issue while she was on the serum.
"I can try some ice cream but I do not want to talk with anyone..."
She said and shook her head slightly.

He nodded, "We can head straight home, and then I can pick up a tub of your choice, if you would prefer that."

You got to the radiology room, well one of them, there was one for regular ex rays, one that had a CT and one that had some sort of machine that one of the Etherites had cooked up which ran on coal and steam. You had been with Freddy a few times after she had her infrequent seizures and needed to be checked out. Helen and a pale faced young tech had already made the machine ready.
"If you place her here Mr Wainwright."
Helen said.
"She is not afraid of the scanner is she?"
Anna shook her head at that.
"No...it is fine...I have been scanned before, my belly where I was shot...but I could drink the contrast for that."
She muttered, she still seamed rather scared though and probably felt very helpless at the moment and she still kept her eyes tightly shut.

He gently laid Anna down and fished out the silver wand, and muttered a quick "Ex radialis nuditate protego", warding himself from the effects of being next to the scanner as it operated, and then placed a hand on her ankle, "Alright, sweetie, if you are ready, I am ready. I won't let go until we're done..."

Chicago, now:

The Nephanda looked at your fearfully and defiant.
"My soul will not let you harm me, not seriously."
She said.
"I will never let you do to me what was done to my Mentor...my Avatar is safe I made the deal to make it safe so it never can be taken from me...never!"
Matty seamed to have forgotten her broken fingers, compared to the pain she was in from the attempted Gigul the injury was just a small distraction and she slowly backed away from you.

He glanced over toward Adley, lowering the gun and removing his finger from the trigger before looking straight back at Matty, "Your Avatar is seeing a reminder of what it was. What it might become again... It won't be the end, not truly - there'll always be pieces left that can be reborn as a new Avatar, though it'll take some time... I won't hurt you unless you attack us - if your Avatar will protect you, the best way to do so is by keeping you from attacking. Please... You've suffered so much, as has your Avatar. It's time to let it go."

[Anja Rebekka Schultze]

Horizon Future:

Colin grinned wryly, "Stranger things have happened. Trust me..."

Helen nodded.
"I guess you are right, but I have always been told such things are impossible..."

He nodded sagely, "And I guess it doesn't hurt that it is decorated like a piece of jewelry rather than something functional like a dog collar, hmm?"

"Yeah it is pretty and that do make it better but it is whatit is, a way to control the evil Nephandus, I mean plenty of fantasy books have collars that control the magick of mages it is exactly that...and I never completely forget that I am...not free. But you do not use it to control me more than you have to so it...it is ok."
Anna muttered softly and looked down.

He smiled, "Give it time, grasshopper - I meant your finesse over raw power in general. Given a little time and practice, I'm sure you could reweave his jacket while he was wearing it, without missing a stitch."

Anna smiled a little at that, she was proud of her magick and her talent.
"Thank you Mentor...well one day perhaps it is what I am working for."
She muttered proudly.

He sighed, "You and half the Awakened world, it seems sometimes..."

Anna gave a wry smile at that.
"Like I said you are good at getting yourself into trouble Mentor."

He nodded, "Cap it and pack it up for me, would you? I've got a bargain to uphold."

Helen nodded she capped the needle and wrapped it in several layers of tissue paper then handed it to you.
"Very well here you go."

He nodded, "I remember the way well enough."
He grunted slightly as he started moving after Helen, "Oh, sweetie, you've grown since last time we were here... That's a good thing, though."

The healer nodded as she headed out the door.
"Good, if you would follow me please."
Anna still kept her eyes closed and she sobbed softly.
"I was only twelve...well nearly thirteen the last time we where here it is five years go off course I have grown I am not Alexandra."
She muttered between her sobs.

He smiled, "Yes, they're mostly good people, the ones who interact with us."

Anna nodded again.
"They are good people Mentor."

He nodded, "We can head straight home, and then I can pick up a tub of your choice, if you would prefer that."

Your apprentice nodded.
"I prefer that Mentor...I just want to go home..."
She whimpered. Helen sigh.
"Do not leave her for at least an hour after we do this Mr Wainwright, normally I keep patients here for half an hour to an hour after giving them contrast fluid just in case there is an complication, with her health issues I would normally have kept her overnight, but I will not pressure her further, you know what do do if she have a medical issue...but she have to be supervised for an hour and with this degree of mental distress and shock, I would not recommend leaving her alone in the house for the next day or so, mental reactions can come sometimes later and I do not want her to panic and then be alone, not with her heart condition."
The healer said as she prepared the contrast fluid i a syringe and walked over to Anna with it.

He gently laid Anna down and fished out the silver wand, and muttered a quick "Ex radialis nuditate protego", warding himself from the effects of being next to the scanner as it operated, and then placed a hand on her ankle, "Alright, sweetie, if you are ready, I am ready. I won't let go until we're done..."

"You cast a spell Mentor."
Anna said softly then she sigh.
"Ready no...I do not think I ever be ready but it is ok...I can stay still anyway I think..."
Helen stepped over to Anna and gently touched her hand, the young mage jumped but calmed down afterwards.
"Yes child your teacher cast a spell and I want you to cast one as well...do you think you can do that for me while I do this, a simple sensory one will do."
The healer said. You knew the contrast fluid had a tendency to cause nausea and probably Helen did not want Anna to be reminded of the serum or be scared that she did not have control over her magick, besides it would be a distraction as she worked.
"O...ok...I can do that..."
Your apprentice muttered she was quite terrified but she moved the fingers on her free hand in practiced gestures as she worked a simple spell, one to sense magick in the area and she smiled slightly as her willworking was cast. Meanwhile Helen injected the contrast fluid and Anna cried out in fear.
"Shhh it is a little cold I know, but it is over now."
The healer said as she begun to remove the caterer. Anna was crying softly but at least she was still.
"I am going to be sick...it is like with the serum I...I...."
She muttered in growing panic, Helen shook her head as she pressed on the small wound in the girl's arm to stop the bleeding and then worked a small spell of her own to heal it.
"No...no Anna listen...be calm...cast your rote again your magick work as it should I promise..."
She tried to soothe the young mage but it did not seam to be having much effect.

Chicago Now:

He glanced over toward Adley, lowering the gun and removing his finger from the trigger before looking straight back at Matty, "Your Avatar is seeing a reminder of what it was. What it might become again... It won't be the end, not truly - there'll always be pieces left that can be reborn as a new Avatar, though it'll take some time... I won't hurt you unless you attack us -

"Won't hurt me? You want to fucking Gilgul me! You can not do much more hurting than that!"
Matty screamed in the growing panic, you felt an increase in the aura of despair and pain from her Avatar as it grew agitated in tune with it's host's growing fear.
"I am not going to let you do it...any of you I will not end up like my Mentor I will not!"
The Nephanda screamed tears welled up in her eyes and she backed away more, she was not afraid of your gun, she could not care less about your gun, that is not what she was threatened by it was the notion she would be Gilgulled that scared her.

if your Avatar will protect you, the best way to do so is by keeping you from attacking. Please... You've suffered so much, as has your Avatar. It's time to let it go."

Matty shook her head.
"Never...I saw what happened to my Mentor...never...my Avatar will protect me, protect us both, I will never end up like that...I won't let you do it..."
She cried her panic growing as she stepped away more.
"Okey...okey listen I am leaving...we are leaving so do not harm us...we will leave and you will never see us again..."
She begged now scared enough to flee over your words and the strange behavior of her abomination of a soul.

[Adley]

"I am destruction...I was made to destroy. I am no longer a guide. The part of me that once broke of from the core of creation no longer seek perfection and understanding and the part of me that is spirit have no purpose...I am nothing...I have been made nothing and she wants me to kill, to always kill and destroy and mangle...I do not know how to be anything else I do not remember..." The abomination whispered, it still did not move though it just looked at the pine cone, stroking it gently, it was awfully close though...

"You are not all destruction, you can choose not to destroy - you were forced in this joining against your wishes and again when you were separated from the tellurian. I know you do not fully remember, but you remember you forgot. That is the necessary first thing, you see that it is not the way it is supposed to be," he said.

"I do not know what else to do for her...they killed her teacher's soul and she live in that moment...her body is grown now but she still live in that now, seeing what was done to her teacher, hearing him scream, watching him destroyed...I can protect her from ever having to experience that...I want to die crowned one...I want nothing but and end to this pain, but I can not die...if I die she suffers...so I can do nothing but...kill I...I...do not want to kill I want to guide...want to teach...but I can not...I have no purpose, I am not as I should be."

"It was a terrible thing she should not have seen, I agree. But she cannot be allowed to harm others either. Nor do you want to do this, to be used that way. It is not right. That was not the way it is supposed to be - you could have a different purpose."

"I remember...deep in you are the Fire Angle, the Red Lady...I have seen her before she is...perfect...I was perfect once...I do not want to harm the host of the Fire Angle she is not done with you...she is you but...I must protect my host she is the only thing I have...I do not want to be on this plane I do not understand." The abomination wept. "Yes I...remember a name...a name of pain an torment...I remember."

"You do not want to harm us. Where did you see her before?" he asked, then said, "Yes, it is confusing to have letters that are not yours mixing with you. That Name that you know, if you tell us, perhaps that part can be returned to where it came from or something else might be done about that part which was forced upon you. She made a deal with that spirit and bound you both together. It might be that it can be unbound. I believe that is part of what causes you to be stuck the way that you are, partly manifested in lower reality. Will you tell it to us?" he asked. He heard the gunshot, but could not afford to look away from the avatar - he heard Matty screaming, and tried to keep the avatar's attention.

Adley you see the broken Avatar's attention turn to Matty and Colin when he shot at her and she cried out and now the Nephanda clearly felt threatened by your friend and the abomination was struggling to break free of it's own memories to go and help it's host it did not want Matty hurt, it desperately wanted to protect it's current physical incarnation and might harm Colin quite badly if it thought he was a danger to Matty and it managed to break the stunning, devastating effect of the pine cone.

"Please, this is reminder your birthright, what you truly are...that perfection is more than just Matty, or this spirit grafted to you. Look here, try to remember with me. Paint me the picture that is made of the edges that remain, of all the other vessels that came before and after. The road is long and there is still hope, it is here. The red lady lights the lamp, is that not so? So what does it show you..."

// ah thank you, I'll add it to my reading list

[Anja Rebekka Schultze]

"You are not all destruction, you can choose not to destroy - you were forced in this joining against your wishes and again when you were separated from the tellurian. I know you do not fully remember, but you remember you forgot. That is the necessary first thing, you see that it is not the way it is supposed to be," he said.

The abomination hesitated then it said.
"The part of me that was once like your Fire Angle have free will but the part of me that is a spirit do not. I do not know how not to kill, not to destroy, part of me only want to do these things but those memories...this was not always me...I was noble once...the memories are painful..."
The Avatar said softly.

"It was a terrible thing she should not have seen, I agree. But she cannot be allowed to harm others either. Nor do you want to do this, to be used that way. It is not right. That was not the way it is supposed to be - you could have a different purpose."

"I do not know how to stop her."
The Avatar said.
"She is so afraid, so angry."
The it seamed surprised and confused.
"I could have a different purpose?"

"You do not want to harm us. Where did you see her before?" he asked,

"I do not want to harm you but my host says I have to."
The abomination protested, the pine cone did seam to give it far more clarity though and ability to think for itself.
"I do not remember where I have seen her before...I just know that I have."

then said, "Yes, it is confusing to have letters that are not yours mixing with you. That Name that you know, if you tell us, perhaps that part can be returned to where it came from or something else might be done about that part which was forced upon you. She made a deal with that spirit and bound you both together. It might be that it can be unbound. I believe that is part of what causes you to be stuck the way that you are, partly manifested in lower reality. Will you tell it to us?"

"The letters from the other name hurts me, it makes me less. I do not want to be manifested, we must not be like this, even if we take physical form our role is to guide not to fight the battles for our hosts, we are not meant to be weapons I...it hurts..."
The abomination cried.
"If I tell you it's name you can send it away but...what about my host, what will happen to her? If I am destroyed she will cry, I do not want my host to cry..."

He heard the gunshot, but could not afford to look away from the avatar - he heard Matty screaming, and tried to keep the avatar's attention.

"She is hurt...she is afraid...I must go to her I must..."
The broken Avatar said but it still remained transfixed by the light of the pine cone, at least for now, at least for a little while longer.

"Please, this is reminder your birthright, what you truly are...that perfection is more than just Matty, or this spirit grafted to you. Look here, try to remember with me. Paint me the picture that is made of the edges that remain, of all the other vessels that came before and after. The road is long and there is still hope, it is here. The red lady lights the lamp, is that not so? So what does it show you..."

The creature looked at you at Matty started pleading with Colin it cried.
"She is afraid...I must go to her I...must protect her."
But your words seamed to halt it as it looked at the pine cone.
"Yes the Red Lady light the lamp, her glory reminds me of who I am. She want to protect you as well but she will not act on her own only guide she...know what she are. I..."
The being hesitated.
"I was a healer on a great plane when humanity was young...I was a noble woman in a beautiful city a ritualist that worked with many others...I was a war mage in a great battle...I was a traveler of stars that joined with those who want to turn the world to stone and glass...I was the wife of a powerful man who led his people to war, I am the student of a ritualist who saw his destruction...I will be one who dances between many tools...I will be a old healer who help the wounded...many lives, many lives to guide if I still could."
The Avatar said sadly.
"If I still could..."

(OOC: Ah yes the ever growing reading list. )

[Warpmind]

Horizon, future:

Helen nodded.
"I guess you are right, but I have always been told such things are impossible..."

He grinned, "Well, an impossible apprentice for an impossible Mentor... there's symmetry in that, I suppose."

"Yeah it is pretty and that do make it better but it is whatit is, a way to control the evil Nephandus, I mean plenty of fantasy books have collars that control the magick of mages it is exactly that...and I never completely forget that I am...not free. But you do not use it to control me more than you have to so it...it is ok."
Anna muttered softly and looked down.

He snorted derisively, "I know you; that collar was never necessary to control you, sweetie. It was to keep the big, scared Traditions from doing something panicked and rash."

Anna smiled a little at that, she was proud of her magick and her talent.
"Thank you Mentor...well one day perhaps it is what I am working for."
She muttered proudly.

He chuckled, "Just promise me you won't actually take the first opportunity to change Master Morgan's clothes while he's wearing them. He might not see the humour in it right away."

Helen nodded she capped the needle and wrapped it in several layers of tissue paper then handed it to you.
"Very well here you go."

He nodded and fished out and opened the silver cigarette case he'd taken to carry around over the past few years, to carry such small items in inconspicuously, "Thank you."

The healer nodded as she headed out the door.
"Good, if you would follow me please."
Anna still kept her eyes closed and she sobbed softly.
"I was only twelve...well nearly thirteen the last time we where here it is five years go off course I have grown I am not Alexandra."
She muttered between her sobs.

He smiled, "And you're going to grow and get stronger for the next five years, too - and the next five after that, and the five after that again, and so on, right?"

Your apprentice nodded.
"I prefer that Mentor...I just want to go home..."
She whimpered. Helen sigh.
"Do not leave her for at least an hour after we do this Mr Wainwright, normally I keep patients here for half an hour to an hour after giving them contrast fluid just in case there is an complication, with her health issues I would normally have kept her overnight, but I will not pressure her further, you know what do do if she have a medical issue...but she have to be supervised for an hour and with this degree of mental distress and shock, I would not recommend leaving her alone in the house for the next day or so, mental reactions can come sometimes later and I do not want her to panic and then be alone, not with her heart condition."
The healer said as she prepared the contrast fluid i a syringe and walked over to Anna with it.

He nodded, "As you say. I'll send for it instead, then. And I'll take shifts with Freddy to keep an eye open at all times."

"You cast a spell Mentor."
Anna said softly then she sigh.
"Ready no...I do not think I ever be ready but it is ok...I can stay still anyway I think..."
Helen stepped over to Anna and gently touched her hand, the young mage jumped but calmed down afterwards.
"Yes child your teacher cast a spell and I want you to cast one as well...do you think you can do that for me while I do this, a simple sensory one will do."
The healer said. You knew the contrast fluid had a tendency to cause nausea and probably Helen did not want Anna to be reminded of the serum or be scared that she did not have control over her magick, besides it would be a distraction as she worked.
"O...ok...I can do that..."
Your apprentice muttered she was quite terrified but she moved the fingers on her free hand in practiced gestures as she worked a simple spell, one to sense magick in the area and she smiled slightly as her willworking was cast. Meanwhile Helen injected the contrast fluid and Anna cried out in fear.
"Shhh it is a little cold I know, but it is over now."
The healer said as she begun to remove the caterer. Anna was crying softly but at least she was still.
"I am going to be sick...it is like with the serum I...I...."
She muttered in growing panic, Helen shook her head as she pressed on the small wound in the girl's arm to stop the bleeding and then worked a small spell of her own to heal it.
"No...no Anna listen...be calm...cast your rote again your magick work as it should I promise..."
She tried to soothe the young mage but it did not seam to be having much effect.

He nodded, "I cast a simple spell to protect me from excess radiation from the machine - the contrast fluid is not the serum, the nausea will pass, and you can use magic still... Try sensing for electric current, see how this room lights up even through closed eyelids..."

Chicago, now:

"Won't hurt me? You want to fucking Gilgul me! You can not do much more hurting than that!"
Matty screamed in the growing panic, you felt an increase in the aura of despair and pain from her Avatar as it grew agitated in tune with it's host's growing fear.
"I am not going to let you do it...any of you I will not end up like my Mentor I will not!"
The Nephanda screamed tears welled up in her eyes and she backed away more, she was not afraid of your gun, she could not care less about your gun, that is not what she was threatened by it was the notion she would be Gilgulled that scared her.

He nodded, lowering his voice a little, "We... are going to do that, yes... Because we cannot let your Avatar go on like it has, cobbled together like some cobbled-together Moreau-esque parody of what it was... but believe me, Gilgul is not the end. I came back from it, pieced myself together over the years..."

Matty shook her head.
"Never...I saw what happened to my Mentor...never...my Avatar will protect me, protect us both, I will never end up like that...I won't let you do it..."
She cried her panic growing as she stepped away more.
"Okey...okey listen I am leaving...we are leaving so do not harm us...we will leave and you will never see us again..."
She begged now scared enough to flee over your words and the strange behavior of her abomination of a soul.

He shook his head as she stepped back, "I'm afraid I can't allow that... if the others cannot do what is needed... the only alternative is to turn you into a vampire... a Tremere. Please, don't make me do that... Torn apart, your Avatar can reform anew, but if it's poisoned like that... I don't think there's anything that can return from that..."

((OOC: Well, for a piece going on the reading list, that one's mercifully short and accessible - it's maybe a twenty-minute read, tops, and the whole story is in that link. ))

[Anja Rebekka Schultze]

Horizon Future:

He grinned, "Well, an impossible apprentice for an impossible Mentor... there's symmetry in that, I suppose."

Helen grinned a little.
"I do wonder if she will get into as much mischief as you when she grows up. But yes she is a good student for you."

He snorted derisively, "I know you; that collar was never necessary to control you, sweetie. It was to keep the big, scared Traditions from doing something panicked and rash."

"I know Mentor, I know and I trust you...you would never abuse the power you ave over me with this collar. I am fine with it, I mean I would have preferred not to have to wear it, pretty as it may be, but as it is I am ok with it."
She said and gave you a slight smile.

He chuckled, "Just promise me you won't actually take the first opportunity to change Master Morgan's clothes while he's wearing them. He might not see the humour in it right away."

"No...that might not be a good idea...there might be allot of floor scrubbing in it for me if I did that."
Anna said with a half grin.

He nodded and fished out and opened the silver cigarette case he'd taken to carry around over the past few years, to carry such small items in inconspicuously, "Thank you."

Helen placed the wrapped up needle in the cigarette case and nodded to you.
"It is no trouble."

He smiled, "And you're going to grow and get stronger for the next five years, too - and the next five after that, and the five after that again, and so on, right?"

"Yes...I hope so...well growing in knowledge, power and personality, not physically I am already plump."
Anna said and while she was still crying she forced a slight smile.
"Am I heavy Mentor?"

He nodded, "As you say. I'll send for it instead, then. And I'll take shifts with Freddy to keep an eye open at all times."

"Good, once the first hour is passed you can sleep at night she do not need constant watching unless she gets scared, but one of you should be within earshot so you can go to you if she needs help, the reaction to facing such strong phobias, especially one where there are so much trauma behind it can be quite strong and it can come some time after, just keep an eye open we want this to be as easy on her as possible, and also considering her health you should check her puls regularly and just make sure she is ok after you bring her home, other than that see if you can get her to eat a little but considering her issues with that I am going to send with you some nourishment drinks, they are easy to get down, let her rest as must as she want for the next couple of days she will be tired after such a burst of emotion and fear, so rest is good, though if she can't get any sleep try to give her something to do, something that is not to strenuous but which gets her mind of things."
Helen advices.

He nodded, "I cast a simple spell to protect me from excess radiation from the machine - the contrast fluid is not the serum, the nausea will pass, and you can use magic still... Try sensing for electric current, see how this room lights up even through closed eyelids..."

Anna nodded her eyes still closed as Helen did the rest of the preparations and then went with the technician to the control room for the machine to start the scan. Your apprentice seamed very scared but as she moved her free hand again and cast another simple rote she gasped.
"So pretty..."
She muttered, and this did seam to take her mind of things so she stayed still for the scan.

After some time the machine stopped making noise and Helen came back into the room.
"The scan went well Colin we got some beautifully clear images..."
She said but she also seamed very concerned and she glanced at Anna.
"Hum...you better come with me to the control room...you want to see the scan, there is also a sofa u where that my techs use when they pull all nighters, your student can rest on it until you are done."
The healer offered.

Anna still with her eyes closed whimpered.
"Is it over?"
She asked you.
"I do not want to be here, I want to go home."

Chicago Now:

He nodded, lowering his voice a little, "We... are going to do that, yes... Because we cannot let your Avatar go on like it has, cobbled together like some cobbled-together Moreau-esque parody of what it was... but believe me, Gilgul is not the end. I came back from it, pieced myself together over the years..."

"I...you can't I will not let that happen..."
Matty screamed at you she was getting quite terrified.
"Me and my Avatar is leaving...we are leaving now..."
She declared and she backed away towards the tunnel she had come from.
"What you talk about is impossible I do not believe you!"

He shook his head as she stepped back, "I'm afraid I can't allow that... if the others cannot do what is needed... the only alternative is to turn you into a vampire... a Tremere.

Matty paled even more and backed away further.
"N...no...what...you can't do that...please..."
She wept terrified.
"I do not want to loose my Avatar...and my magick...I don't want to end up like my Mentor...please..."

Please, don't make me do that... Torn apart, your Avatar can reform anew, but if it's poisoned like that... I don't think there's anything that can return from that..."

The Nephanda shook her head in disbelief.
"You can't do that to me...please you...just can't..."

Crexia glanced over at you.
"Everything is ready...the question is how that Avatar will react when we try to affect it..."
She said and frowned.
"For now it seam to be more or less docile but if we attack it...I do not like the idea of doing that with the young Flambeau that close."

[Warpmind]

Horizon, future:

Helen grinned a little.
"I do wonder if she will get into as much mischief as you when she grows up. But yes she is a good student for you."

Colin chuckled, "God, I hope she won't..."

"No...that might not be a good idea...there might be allot of floor scrubbing in it for me if I did that."
Anna said with a half grin.

He shook his head, almost looking serious for a moment, "You wish. No, I know him - he would decide on something educational instead... something you would never forget."

"Yes...I hope so...well growing in knowledge, power and personality, not physically I am already plump."
Anna said and while she was still crying she forced a slight smile.
"Am I heavy Mentor?"

He smiled wryly, "Sweetie, there is no good answer to that question, no objective response that is in any way safe. Suffice to say, you weigh more than you did when we first met in your timeline, and less than what my arms would deem too heavy."

"Good, once the first hour is passed you can sleep at night she do not need constant watching unless she gets scared, but one of you should be within earshot so you can go to you if she needs help, the reaction to facing such strong phobias, especially one where there are so much trauma behind it can be quite strong and it can come some time after, just keep an eye open we want this to be as easy on her as possible, and also considering her health you should check her puls regularly and just make sure she is ok after you bring her home, other than that see if you can get her to eat a little but considering her issues with that I am going to send with you some nourishment drinks, they are easy to get down, let her rest as must as she want for the next couple of days she will be tired after such a burst of emotion and fear, so rest is good, though if she can't get any sleep try to give her something to do, something that is not to strenuous but which gets her mind of things."
Helen advices.

He nodded, "I have a couple of books I want her to read - that should be a good start, at least. And I might have a few additions for the marble collection secreted away for such an occasion..."

Anna nodded her eyes still closed as Helen did the rest of the preparations and then went with the technician to the control room for the machine to start the scan. Your apprentice seamed very scared but as she moved her free hand again and cast another simple rote she gasped.
"So pretty..."
She muttered, and this did seam to take her mind of things so she stayed still for the scan.

After some time the machine stopped making noise and Helen came back into the room.
"The scan went well Colin we got some beautifully clear images..."
She said but she also seamed very concerned and she glanced at Anna.
"Hum...you better come with me to the control room...you want to see the scan, there is also a sofa u where that my techs use when they pull all nighters, your student can rest on it until you are done."
The healer offered.

Anna still with her eyes closed whimpered.
"Is it over?"
She asked you.
"I do not want to be here, I want to go home."

He nodded, "I will want to see the scan, so I can remember the most crucial details in the past... it's complicated, but if I can prevent this..."
He looked down at Anna, "Sweetie, only a few more minutes so I can see the pictures, and then we head straight home... You might want to lie down for a few moments first, while doctor Mossly bandages over the little puncture in your arm. Please, for your own sake?"

Chicago, now:

"I...you can't I will not let that happen..."
Matty screamed at you she was getting quite terrified.
"Me and my Avatar is leaving...we are leaving now..."
She declared and she backed away towards the tunnel she had come from.
"What you talk about is impossible I do not believe you!"

He frowned, "Ask your Avatar, it saw... it fears I will eat it, but that's not exactly right..."

Matty paled even more and backed away further.
"N...no...what...you can't do that...please..."
She wept terrified.
"I do not want to loose my Avatar...and my magick...I don't want to end up like my Mentor...please..."

He shook his head, voice hard as steel, "I can... and if necessary, I will, however much I will feel sorry for it later. Now, we can promise a quite painless death afterward if you cooperate, but if not..."

The Nephanda shook her head in disbelief.
"You can't do that to me...please you...just can't..."

Crexia glanced over at you.
"Everything is ready...the question is how that Avatar will react when we try to affect it..."
She said and frowned.
"For now it seam to be more or less docile but if we attack it...I do not like the idea of doing that with the young Flambeau that close."

He glanced back at Crexia with a nod, "Miss Carlyle, your time is up... please, surrender; it will be the least horrible outcome for you... for everyone."

((OOC: Manipulation+Intimidate: 2,5,8,9. Will she sit down and let the inevitable happen, or...? ))

[Anja Rebekka Schultze]

Horizon Future:

Colin chuckled, "God, I hope she won't..."

Helen smiled a little at that.
"No that would be most...troublesome."

He shook his head, almost looking serious for a moment, "You wish. No, I know him - he would decide on something educational instead... something you would never forget."

"Ah...yes, well I am not sure I would want that educational experience, I am sure it would be beneficial and he would not lay a finger on me, but I am still pretty sure I don't want it."
Anna said and raised and eyebrow.

He smiled wryly, "Sweetie, there is no good answer to that question, no objective response that is in any way safe. Suffice to say, you weigh more than you did when we first met in your timeline, and less than what my arms would deem too heavy."

Anna was quite upset but she could not help but smile just a little.
"Smooth..."
She muttered.
"You are good with words Mentor..."

He nodded, "I have a couple of books I want her to read - that should be a good start, at least. And I might have a few additions for the marble collection secreted away for such an occasion..."

Helen nodded approvingly.
"Books are a good idea, that will allow her to relax while she keep her mind busy and the marbles well they could be a good incentive to get her to eat if that turns out to be a problem."

He nodded, "I will want to see the scan, so I can remember the most crucial details in the past... it's complicated, but if I can prevent this..."

Helen nodded she gave you a concerned look.
"Right now the chance that you can fix this in the past are the only option left..."
She said and added in a whisper so Anna would not hear her.
"I...fear I can not get that lump of Primium out without...damaging her..."
The healer said and looked at Anna.

He looked down at Anna, "Sweetie, only a few more minutes so I can see the pictures, and then we head straight home... You might want to lie down for a few moments first, while doctor Mossly bandages over the little puncture in your arm. Please, for your own sake?"

Anna was not happy and she started softly sobbing again but she nodded after a while.
"O...ok...I suppose that will work...for a few minutes."
She muttered. Helen looked at you.
"What if we go to the control room and I can take care of her, healing her arm while you look at the scans, Jurgen will help explain things to you...if you could help her up or carry her the control room is right out there and she can relax for a moment."

Chicago Now:

He frowned, "Ask your Avatar, it saw... it fears I will eat it, but that's not exactly right..."

Matty looked at her Avatar hesitantly.
"Eat...it...but..."
She still did not seam to believe you.

He shook his head, voice hard as steel, "I can... and if necessary, I will, however much I will feel sorry for it later. Now, we can promise a quite painless death afterward if you cooperate, but if not..."

"You are a monster!"
Matty whispered terrified and she backed further away.
"Come we must leave, protect me!"
She called to her Avatar who moved a bit away from Adley it seamed, still thorn between it's memories and it's desire to protect it's host.
"So you would keep me alive to suffer afterwards?"
Matty hissed fearfully.

He glanced back at Crexia with a nod, "Miss Carlyle, your time is up... please, surrender; it will be the least horrible outcome for you... for everyone."

"You seam to think me defenseless Traditionalist. I do not know what that guy over there have done to my Avatar, why it listen to him like that, I do not care...it will not just stay still and let you destroy it...it will not just stay still and let anyone hurt me, we will flee and anyone who try to stop us will die!"
The Nephanda screamed, quite terrified now.
"Just leave me the fuck alone!"
She cried but she was uncertain...she had some experience with vampires at least and knew that if you had their blood on hand it only took one drop after she was dead, and while killing her Avatar while it fought would be hard, even for a full group of Masters, killing Matty herself would be far easier.
"Please I don't want this...please..."
She sobbed.

[Adley]

"She is so afraid, so angry." The it seamed surprised and confused. "I could have a different purpose?"

"You had one once, that was not just killing."

"The letters from the other name hurts me, it makes me less. I do not want to be manifested, we must not be like this, even if we take physical form our role is to guide not to fight the battles for our hosts, we are not meant to be weapons I...it hurts..." The abomination cried. "If I tell you it's name you can send it away but...what about my host, what will happen to her? If I am destroyed she will cry, I do not want my host to cry..."

"I know you don't, but this is hurting you both and it cannot continue to be this way. Just because one is not crying does not mean there is no hurt. What about the tears you shed for being stuck this way? That makes you want it to end?"

"Yes the Red Lady light the lamp, her glory reminds me of who I am. She want to protect you as well but she will not act on her own only guide she...know what she are. I..." The being hesitated. "I was a healer on a great plane when humanity was young...I was a noble woman in a beautiful city a ritualist that worked with many others...I was a war mage in a great battle...I was a traveler of stars that joined with those who want to turn the world to stone and glass...I was the wife of a powerful man who led his people to war, I am the student of a ritualist who saw his destruction...I will be one who dances between many tools...I will be a old healer who help the wounded...many lives, many lives to guide if I still could." The Avatar said sadly. "If I still could..."

"All this I will try to remember," he said to it as he listened to the avatar, all its past and the future that seemed to have been stolen from it. He felt sad for it and wanted to help it, at least release it from the spirit it was bound to, how it suffered for Matty's choice. Though he wished to do something for it. To Crexia, still keeping an eye on the avatar, he said, "Lady, perhaps it might tell me the Name of the spirit bound to it. Could we banish the spirit then? Right now, even Fallen and hurt as it is, it is remembering who it was...what it might have been...it only wishes to guide people again, as it should be or for all the pain to stop." That and Matty were all it had left but he did not wish to remind it of Matty again, in case it proved to make it violent in its need to protect her. He did not want to see it destroyed in this state...terrible and dangerous as it was, there was for a moment hope - but he knew that it may not last, it may go back to its dangerous natures just as quick as that as Arto had told him. This had bought them time but for them it was not just that for this avatar, transfixed by the beauty of itself that it had lost. He knew though, that if the pinecone had confused and overwhelmed it, that it was not for it.

[Anja Rebekka Schultze]

"You had one once, that was not just killing."

"Yes once...I was more...but it is so hard to...remember...I am...wrong..."
The Avatar whispered mournfully.

"I know you don't, but this is hurting you both and it cannot continue to be this way. Just because one is not crying does not mean there is no hurt. What about the tears you shed for being stuck this way? That makes you want it to end?"

"I never wanted this...thing done to me...I do not want to exist this way I want it to end, but my death would mean her pain and I can not cause that I am still her...I...the only thing I have left is being her protector."
The Avatar protested.
"But we still hurt you are right you who carry the Fire Angle...we are both in never ending agony."
It whispered in a sad crackle.

"All this I will try to remember," he said to it as he listened to the avatar, all its past and the future that seemed to have been stolen from it. He felt sad for it and wanted to help it, at least release it from the spirit it was bound to, how it suffered for Matty's choice. Though he wished to do something for it.

The abomination looked at you and then it seamed just a hint...just a tiny hint lighter, though it could be just your imagination off course.
"Thank you carrier of the Fire Angle, at least someone will remember I was not always this...I was once a guide though my earliest hosts did not need my guidance they already knew. I was beautiful then, my purpose was beautiful..."
It said gratefully.

To Crexia, still keeping an eye on the avatar, he said, "Lady, perhaps it might tell me the Name of the spirit bound to it. Could we banish the spirit then? Right now, even Fallen and hurt as it is, it is remembering who it was...what it might have been...it only wishes to guide people again, as it should be or for all the pain to stop."

Crexia sigh and looked at you.
"This thing is dangerous Sodalis...and powerful but yes, if it do not resist it is possible we can banish the part of it that are fused with an Umbrood, exactly the result of that I do not know, it might be so integrated that banishing it will shatter the Avatar as well, and I am hesitant to let this soul go even if we manage to do what you propose, but while we are ready to act now as soon as you are not directly in harms way, if it will cooperate with such a banishment...then that will get this task done quicker and we can move on to dealing with Abigail and as long as the threat is removed I am satisfied so I am willing to try."
The archmage said hesitantly.
"Tavelim...the name of the spirit is Tavelim...I am Stylus...any language will do, I am that which writes...I was that which writes...now I am nothing."
The Abomination spoke up.
"If such a feat can be done I...no longer know if it can, I used to know perfectly now I am...restricted...dense...bound, if I can be freed of that I will cooperate but what of my host?"

That and Matty were all it had left but he did not wish to remind it of Matty again, in case it proved to make it violent in its need to protect her. He did not want to see it destroyed in this state...terrible and dangerous as it was, there was for a moment hope - but he knew that it may not last, it may go back to its dangerous natures just as quick as that as Arto had told him. This had bought them time but for them it was not just that for this avatar, transfixed by the beauty of itself that it had lost. He knew though, that if the pinecone had confused and overwhelmed it, that it was not for it.

The Avatar backed away from you when Matty cried out for it again, the young woman was more afraid now and it was clear Colin was scaring her terribly.
"Make him stop...make him stop hurting her!"
The abomination roared more aggressive now though still transfixed by the light of what it had once been, once when such emotions would have been unknown to it, where it would not have communicated like a baser being, when it was a soul, it was still transfixed by it but the hold was lessened as it's host's distress grew.
"She sees the final moments of her teacher...hear his scrams...make it stop!"
The abomination screamed.
"Please."

[Warpmind]

Horizon, future:

"Ah...yes, well I am not sure I would want that educational experience, I am sure it would be beneficial and he would not lay a finger on me, but I am still pretty sure I don't want it."
Anna said and raised and eyebrow.

Colin smiled wryly, "Well, the time I made a tactical decision to stay behind unarmed and go to ground alone when the police and the Union were likely to arrive in short order, he had me make the memorial to the ones of the Boston Tribunal who'd fallen to enemy action in the war... I did not protest the punishment; it was quite fair, and a pointed reminder of how frail life is..."

Anna was quite upset but she could not help but smile just a little.
"Smooth..."
She muttered.
"You are good with words Mentor..."

He chuckled, "I've been around far too many officers and politicians to not know when not answering a question is the better part of valour."

Helen nodded she gave you a concerned look.
"Right now the chance that you can fix this in the past are the only option left..."
She said and added in a whisper so Anna would not hear her.
"I...fear I can not get that lump of Primium out without...damaging her..."
The healer said and looked at Anna.

He frowned, "There... are a few others I might think of; a few other assorted specialists that might be able to pull it off. Surgery is likely out of the picture in any case, but if it's a fairly cohesive lump... a very particular teleportation spell, perhaps? One that only teleports organic matter, and leaves metal behind? Though, that would have its own dangers associated with it..."

Anna was not happy and she started softly sobbing again but she nodded after a while.
"O...ok...I suppose that will work...for a few minutes."
She muttered. Helen looked at you.
"What if we go to the control room and I can take care of her, healing her arm while you look at the scans, Jurgen will help explain things to you...if you could help her up or carry her the control room is right out there and she can relax for a moment."

He nodded and gingerly picked Anna up again, "Very good - if you would be so kind as to run interference? It's just around the corner, first on the right, isn't it?"

Chicago, now:

"You are a monster!"
Matty whispered terrified and she backed further away.
"Come we must leave, protect me!"
She called to her Avatar who moved a bit away from Adley it seamed, still thorn between it's memories and it's desire to protect it's host.
"So you would keep me alive to suffer afterwards?"
Matty hissed fearfully.

He shook his head, "If I were a monster, I would revel in destroying you... or I would let you go, and pat myself on the back for not being so monstrous, for letting one easy victim get away... What I am is a soldier, with very limited options. And I would not keep you alive to suffer, but it would no longer be my decision. I'm expecting no forgiveness for my deeds this day, nor do I believe I deserve it... but neither will I shirk my duty. Nor will I stop cursing this damned war..."

"You seam to think me defenseless Traditionalist. I do not know what that guy over there have done to my Avatar, why it listen to him like that, I do not care...it will not just stay still and let you destroy it...it will not just stay still and let anyone hurt me, we will flee and anyone who try to stop us will die!"
The Nephanda screamed, quite terrified now.
"Just leave me the fuck alone!"
She cried but she was uncertain...she had some experience with vampires at least and knew that if you had their blood on hand it only took one drop after she was dead, and while killing her Avatar while it fought would be hard, even for a full group of Masters, killing Matty herself would be far easier.
"Please I don't want this...please..."
She sobbed.

He glanced back, "It listens because he makes it remember. Nobody wants this, but we cannot let your Avatar run free to be reincarnated as it is. And we cannot let you go."

The Avatar backed away from you when Matty cried out for it again, the young woman was more afraid now and it was clear Colin was scaring her terribly.
"Make him stop...make him stop hurting her!"
The abomination roared more aggressive now though still transfixed by the light of what it had once been, once when such emotions would have been unknown to it, where it would not have communicated like a baser being, when it was a soul, it was still transfixed by it but the hold was lessened as it's host's distress grew.
"She sees the final moments of her teacher...hear his scrams...make it stop!"
The abomination screamed.
"Please."

He tilted his head to the side, "Milady... If you would make haste, whatever you decide to do? I cannot unfrighten her..."

((OOC: So, the Dresden Files card game. Pretty damn good, actually; fast-paced, and with varied challenges, whether you play through one of the novels, or a series of random "side jobs". The characters you can play are very much in line with how they're portrayed in the books, and some of the combinations of characters, actions and situations can get quite weird. Like, say, Sanya dismantling some FBI Hexenwolves in Fool Moon with Esperacchius; a scene I'm sure we don't remember from the book. Highly recommended.))

[Anja Rebekka Schultze]

Horizon Future:

Colin smiled wryly, "Well, the time I made a tactical decision to stay behind unarmed and go to ground alone when the police and the Union were likely to arrive in short order, he had me make the memorial to the ones of the Boston Tribunal who'd fallen to enemy action in the war... I did not protest the punishment; it was quite fair, and a pointed reminder of how frail life is..."

"Well that is a good punishment, one that fit the crime but it is not the most plesant thing to be doing to be reminded all time of the Union wanting to kill us all."
Anna said and nodded.
"I remember you working on the memorial in the start, right after I was captured."

He chuckled, "I've been around far too many officers and politicians to not know when not answering a question is the better part of valour."

Anna managed another smile she was crying but you had managed to amuse her at least, her her mind of things for just a moment.

He frowned, "There... are a few others I might think of; a few other assorted specialists that might be able to pull it off. Surgery is likely out of the picture in any case, but if it's a fairly cohesive lump... a very particular teleportation spell, perhaps? One that only teleports organic matter, and leaves metal behind? Though, that would have its own dangers associated with it..."

"The problem is that it is Primium, and there is always hard to work magick on that metal, however we have to look into our options off course and see what can be done. I agree surgery is out of the question Anna would not want that."
Helen said and sigh.
"Well we can discuss it further when you have seen the scans since we do not know how much ehm...time you get in this time as it where."

He nodded and gingerly picked Anna up again, "Very good - if you would be so kind as to run interference? It's just around the corner, first on the right, isn't it?"

"It is right around the corner yes, and I will."
Helen said and hurried out the door. Anna rested her head against your shoulder as you carried her, she was still shaking and she seamed to be completely exhausted by fear and the burst of emotion. You get to a small room that was long and thin, in one corner there was an old, tired brown sofa, the computers that controlled the scanner was in the other end, and there was a window where one could look into the scanner room. Anna whimpered softly she was still scared.
"Are you sure no one will hurt me Mentor?"
She muttered.

Chicago Now:

He shook his head, "If I were a monster, I would revel in destroying you... or I would let you go, and pat myself on the back for not being so monstrous, for letting one easy victim get away... What I am is a soldier, with very limited options. And I would not keep you alive to suffer, but it would no longer be my decision. I'm expecting no forgiveness for my deeds this day, nor do I believe I deserve it... but neither will I shirk my duty. Nor will I stop cursing this damned war..."

Matty gave you a terrified look.
"Please just let me go. I do not want to be Gilgulled, please..."
The Nephanda whispered.
"I can go somewhere you will never hear about me again, I promise."
She offered.

He glanced back, "It listens because he makes it remember. Nobody wants this, but we cannot let your Avatar run free to be reincarnated as it is. And we cannot let you go."

"I...it remember but...it is not the sae as it was, it is safe now, powerful, it can defend itself, it can."
Matty protested.
"Please don't do this!"
She added then she started to cry.
"I want my Mentor!"
She bawled.

He tilted his head to the side, "Milady... If you would make haste, whatever you decide to do? I cannot unfrighten her..."

Crexia hesitated then she spoke to someone other than you the Avatar perhaps.
"We are going to restrain her, but not hurt her, please do not be afraid."
Then she turned to you.
"We are ready to act if we have to and your Cabalmate is trying to negotiate with the creature, for now take her, restrain her but do not hurt her unless the Avatar attacks, if it do shoot her and well you know..."
The archmage ordered.

(OOC: I have to get that card game.)

[Adley]

"I never wanted this...thing done to me...I do not want to exist this way I want it to end, but my death would mean her pain and I can not cause that I am still her...I...the only thing I have left is being her protector." The Avatar protested. "But we still hurt you are right you who carry the Fire Angle...we are both in never ending agony."

"Sometimes pain is for a reason, it happens and something new can come of it and we can learn. But the way things are right now for you both," he said, frowning, "she is already in pain and suffering and so are you, imprisoned as you are. And I know what she saw...she should not have seen that, that I agree, yet this is another wrong after that wrong."

"Thank you carrier of the Fire Angle, at least someone will remember I was not always this...I was once a guide though my earliest hosts did not need my guidance they already knew. I was beautiful then, my purpose was beautiful..." It said gratefully...

"Is there more you remember?"

"This thing is dangerous Sodalis...and powerful but yes, if it do not resist it is possible we can banish the part of it that are fused with an Umbrood, exactly the result of that I do not know, it might be so integrated that banishing it will shatter the Avatar as well, and I am hesitant to let this soul go even if we manage to do what you propose, but while we are ready to act now as soon as you are not directly in harms way, if it will cooperate with such a banishment...then that will get this task done quicker and we can move on to dealing with Abigail and as long as the threat is removed I am satisfied so I am willing to try."

"Tavelim...the name of the spirit is Tavelim...I am Stylus...any language will do, I am that which writes...I was that which writes...now I am nothing." The Abomination spoke up. "If such a feat can be done I...no longer know if it can, I used to know perfectly now I am...restricted...dense...bound, if I can be freed of that I will cooperate but what of my host?"

"It asks the fate of the girl," he said to Crexia and relayed the names that it gave him, in the event she didn't hear. "She is that which writes, who has been made nothing," he said sadly. "If we could get this spirit out from where it does not belong, could we not try the containment? They are both stuck in perpetual hell as they are," he said with a frown. "The spirit-avatar is dangerous, especially as long as Matty is endangered and that spirit makes it partly manifested. But we have prepared options."

"She sees the final moments of her teacher...hear his scrams...make it stop!" The abomination screamed. "Please."

He tilted his head to the side, "Milady... If you would make haste, whatever you decide to do? I cannot unfrighten her..."

Crexia hesitated then she spoke to someone other than you the Avatar perhaps. We are going to restrain her, but not hurt her, please do not be afraid."[/quote]

"They will restrain the girl but unless either of you attack, that will not harm her. So listen, maybe we can help her not be so afraid or hear those screams...you hear her and feel her sorrow and fear and the way you are now, bound to a spirit, makes that sensation strange. But she feels you as well. Can you show her what you told me just now? About all those people who were your hosts and herself, the way you see her, more than just this one fear that has pressed so deeply within her? Before the caul or this spirit that was bound to you? About the healer on the great plains, about the beautiful city that one host lived in...all those that you guided...tell her about them all...can you try this?"

[Anja Rebekka Schultze]

"Sometimes pain is for a reason, it happens and something new can come of it and we can learn. But the way things are right now for you both," he said, frowning, "she is already in pain and suffering and so are you, imprisoned as you are. And I know what she saw...she should not have seen that, that I agree, yet this is another wrong after that wrong."

"I would rather die and vanish than being this...I would rather be shattered pieces forever haunting the spirit world...forever lost than live with this pain I am blasphemy of the highest order, I should be a guide towards something greater and I am a mover of shit..."
The abomination wept mournfully.
"Yes...we are both in pain, both wrong...but I do not know how to help, I can help no one anymore. This is wrong on another wrong."
The Avatar agreed then it looked at you.
"You would never do what have been done to me to the Fire Angle would you?"

"Is there more you remember?"

"I remember waking inside a host, being a host...I remember joy when those hosts first felt magick flow, when they first felt free an alive...I do not remember the...path towards enlightenment that is lost, but I remember that joy. I remember running barefoot though grass and jumping into a cold lake laughing...I remember mourning over a fallen friend, I remember grief and pride when my hosts died, though I knew then those emotions where not mine they where borrowed from my incarnation but still real. I remember being born..."

"It asks the fate of the girl," he said to Crexia and relayed the names that it gave him, in the event she didn't hear. "She is that which writes, who has been made nothing," he said sadly. "If we could get this spirit out from where it does not belong, could we not try the containment? They are both stuck in perpetual hell as they are," he said with a frown. "The spirit-avatar is dangerous, especially as long as Matty is endangered and that spirit makes it partly manifested. But we have prepared options."

"How long should we keep it contained? An Avatar without a host will be dangerous to destroy later, and if we take Miss Carlyle captive you know what will happen to her."
Crexia said and nodded.
"She who writes...I see...well in an off itself Matty is a secondary priority if her manifested Avatar is dealt with I am willing to be flexible with the girl, if the Avatar is stripped of that spirit I am willing to kill the girl and let it reincarnate...eh...perhaps you and your Cabalmate's talk of hope and cleansing of such spirits have seeped in, perhaps there is a chance it can be cleansed when it return...but that is if it surrenders now so showing mercy saves time or I can not legally do it and only if we manage to banish that spirit..."
The old Tytalus said and shook her head as if she was not pleased with herself for showing mercy. The abomination shook it's head, well it did not really have one it was more of a dark cloud with claws, but it still indicated no.
"I do not wish to reincarnate...I just want it to be over...I do not want my host to suffer but I...am lost."
It said sadly.
"After all I have been forced to do...your friend understand, the broken lady understand that some crimes can not be forgiven, and sometimes death is the only mercy that can be given...please...I would like to die as myself, without the spirit being a part of me...but I do not want to take my crimes to another host..."

"They will restrain the girl but unless either of you attack, that will not harm her. So listen, maybe we can help her not be so afraid or hear those screams...you hear her and feel her sorrow and fear and the way you are now, bound to a spirit, makes that sensation strange. But she feels you as well. Can you show her what you told me just now? About all those people who were your hosts and herself, the way you see her, more than just this one fear that has pressed so deeply within her? Before the caul or this spirit that was bound to you? About the healer on the great plains, about the beautiful city that one host lived in...all those that you guided...tell her about them all...can you try this?"

The Avatar looked at you surprised then it nodded, it said nothing, but suddenly Matty who had been ready to fight against Colin with all she got fell to her knees, tears running down her cheeks.
"I am sorry...I am so sorry..."
She muttered softly then she looked up at Colin for a moment and lifted her good hand to wipe her tears away.
"I...remember...past...it was so beautiful..."
She whispered not really aiming her words at the Orphan.
"What have I done..."
She said and looked down again the same shock and horror at her actions in her eyes as Mia remember Heylel displaying after they had betrayed their Cabal then she shook her head again.
"I surrender..."
She muttered silently.
"It...was so...beautiful..."
She repeated several times, seemingly being in some kind of shock, just repeating those words again and again.

(OOC: I am going out to play the boar game Silver Tower today with friends and then when I get home me and my husband is going to celebrate our anniversary with dinner and a movie so I might be a bit slow in replying today.)

[Adley]

"Yes...we are both in pain, both wrong...but I do not know how to help, I can help no one anymore. This is wrong on another wrong."
The Avatar agreed then it looked at you. "You would never do what have been done to me to the Fire Angle would you?"

"I would not become Fallen, no. Nor would I purposefully seek out a spirit to graft to my avatar to make a weapon," he said. Of course...he'd had something of an accident and had a seeking, where he saw the spirit he carried whole again. And seeing what the outcomes could be were unnerving, seeing the state of the avatar before him, especially at the heels of the quiet he fell into. It was not something to seek out, that was for sure - but he hoped that his circumstance would lead to a different outcome, as it had happened under different circumstances. So much had happened, but he would not wish to harm his avatar.

"How long should we keep it contained? An Avatar without a host will be dangerous to destroy later, and if we take Miss Carlyle captive you know what will happen to her.

"I don't know," he admitted. "But let me speak with it," he said, wondering if she could hear it too. "It may be that once the spirit part is removed it will go back within Matty's soul where it ought to be."

"She who writes...I see...well in an off itself Matty is a secondary priority if her manifested Avatar is dealt with I am willing to be flexible with the girl, if the Avatar is stripped of that spirit I am willing to kill the girl and let it reincarnate...eh...perhaps you and your Cabalmate's talk of hope and cleansing of such spirits have seeped in, perhaps there is a chance it can be cleansed when it return...but that is if it surrenders now so showing mercy saves time or I can not legally do it and only if we manage to banish that spirit..."

The old Tytalus said and shook her head as if she was not pleased with herself for showing mercy. The abomination shook it's head, well it did not really have one it was more of a dark cloud with claws, but it still indicated no. "I do not wish to reincarnate...I just want it to be over...I do not want my host to suffer but I...am lost. After all I have been forced to do...your friend understand, the broken lady understand that some crimes can not be forgiven, and sometimes death is the only mercy that can be given...please...I would like to die as myself, without the spirit being a part of me...but I do not want to take my crimes to another host"

"The avatar is telling me that it does not wish to reincarnate and take its crimes to another host, it says it would rather be shattered and forever lost in the spirit realms than continue to live as a blasphemy in agony. It wishes...it to be over, but that it would like to die as itself. As much itself as it can be, without that spirit attached to it," he relayed to Crexia, sounding sad for the avatar's state. "It feels that some crimes cannot be forgiven and death is the only mercy left."

// happy anniversary have a great day

[Warpmind]

Horizon, Future:

"Well that is a good punishment, one that fit the crime but it is not the most plesant thing to be doing to be reminded all time of the Union wanting to kill us all."
Anna said and nodded.
"I remember you working on the memorial in the start, right after I was captured."

Colin nodded, "I disarmed myself and sent the others ahead. I had good reason, and I would likely have done the same again, if I deemed it necessary. At the time, there was a medical emergency, no more room in the car, and my gun was loaded with Primium rounds. Plus, my carrying permit was not yet in order. I made the on the spot decision to send the others home with the wounded captive, and took the long route home by way of a pub where I could catch the news of the conflagration that had taken place. Hiding in plain sight like that is easier than one might think, but he considered it excessive risk. I disagreed, but did not protest the punishment, as he is indisputably senior to me, and more experienced in this war."

"The problem is that it is Primium, and there is always hard to work magick on that metal, however we have to look into our options off course and see what can be done. I agree surgery is out of the question Anna would not want that."
Helen said and sigh.
"Well we can discuss it further when you have seen the scans since we do not know how much ehm...time you get in this time as it where."

He nodded, "It depends on whether it is clumped with itself or fused with her tissues... Might be possible to exclude it by virtue of how inert it is... But yes. Let's go."

"It is right around the corner yes, and I will."
Helen said and hurried out the door. Anna rested her head against your shoulder as you carried her, she was still shaking and she seamed to be completely exhausted by fear and the burst of emotion. You get to a small room that was long and thin, in one corner there was an old, tired brown sofa, the computers that controlled the scanner was in the other end, and there was a window where one could look into the scanner room. Anna whimpered softly she was still scared.
"Are you sure no one will hurt me Mentor?"
She muttered.

He gently put Anna down on the sofa, and smiled softly at her, "I'm positive. I trust doctor Mossly with my life - more importantly, I trust her with yours. I'm going to take a few steps over to that desk while she gets the plastic tube out and covers the little puncture. I won't be more than two meters away, okay, sweetie? Only a minute."

Chicago, now:

Matty gave you a terrified look.
"Please just let me go. I do not want to be Gilgulled, please..."
The Nephanda whispered.
"I can go somewhere you will never hear about me again, I promise."
She offered.

He shook his head, frowning sadly, "I can't do that, I'm afraid - that would be signing my own sentence."

"I...it remember but...it is not the sae as it was, it is safe now, powerful, it can defend itself, it can."
Matty protested.
"Please don't do this!"
She added then she started to cry.
"I want my Mentor!"
She bawled.

He looked down shamefully, "I'm sorry, but I don't have any good alternatives. I can't fetch your Mentor, and I can't let you escape..."

Crexia hesitated then she spoke to someone other than you the Avatar perhaps.
"We are going to restrain her, but not hurt her, please do not be afraid."
Then she turned to you.
"We are ready to act if we have to and your Cabalmate is trying to negotiate with the creature, for now take her, restrain her but do not hurt her unless the Avatar attacks, if it do shoot her and well you know..."
The archmage ordered.

He nodded, a dark shadow passing over his expression, "Very well..."

The Avatar looked at you surprised then it nodded, it said nothing, but suddenly Matty who had been ready to fight against Colin with all she got fell to her knees, tears running down her cheeks.
"I am sorry...I am so sorry..."
She muttered softly then she looked up at Colin for a moment and lifted her good hand to wipe her tears away.
"I...remember...past...it was so beautiful..."
She whispered not really aiming her words at the Orphan.
"What have I done..."
She said and looked down again the same shock and horror at her actions in her eyes as Mia remember Heylel displaying after they had betrayed their Cabal then she shook her head again.
"I surrender..."
She muttered silently.
"It...was so...beautiful..."
She repeated several times, seemingly being in some kind of shock, just repeating those words again and again.

He pocketed the gun again with a frown and uncoiled the rope with the magic restraints, and took a careful step toward Matty, "I know your pain, and I am sorry... Would you please hold up your hands? I won't use the hooks, just tie the rope securely..."

((OOC: Gah, too hot today - I'm definitely descended from the same stock as the Sebaceans... And yes, you definitely want that game. Try to get the expansion packs at the same time - more characters to choose from, and a few more challenges to face.))

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